Surviving a Divorce Before, During, and After the Holidays
More divorce filings occur in the month of January than at any other time of the year. Couples often choose to wait until after the festivities are over to call it quits, as this helps to avoid additional stress during the holidays. Following are some tips that may be of help to survive the Holidays before a divorce, during the process, and once the marriage has been dissolved.
Don't Expect Perfection
People often feel they need to be the perfect family during the holidays. Conflict cannot be avoided, however, when couples are planning to split. It's best to maybe let it go and lower expectations.
Plan Separate Activities
Don't spend the holidays together. There's nothing wrong with enjoying them in separate places. Although legal separation is not recognized in many states, this does not mean couples must stay together.
Mediation or a collaborative divorce may be a better option for your situation. Use this time to determine what method will be best for keeping the peace. Both options cost less than divorce and can be used to resolve any issues relating to the divorce.
Let Go of Anger and Resentment
Try to get rid of any anger and resentment. If you truly plan to stay together through christmas and the other holidays, this will be your best course of action. Try to react differently when the spouse does something irritating. Remember it won't be your problem much longer.
Make New Traditions
Find a new way to celebrate the holidays. Create new traditions without the spouse or make plans for future events. This will be of great help to the children who are already stressed over the tension in the household. New things give them something else to think about.
Discuss Custody Arrangements
During the holidays, think ahead to where the children will spend these moments once the divorce is complete. Speak to family members to discuss how they would like to spend future holidays. Planning ahead can make this less challenging.
You are under a great deal of stress. Cut the list of essentials down so you don't overdo it. Turn to family and friends for help, if needed, and obtain professional counseling if more help is required.
The holidays are meant to be enjoyed. Don't let an upcoming divorce rob you of this. Spend time with family and friends and you will make it through this difficult time.